"It May Be Time to Rethink Modeling Our Condo Association After the Yakuza" on Splitsider

Up today at Splitsider

Old jokes.

Dear blurg.

Got some new humor coming later this month to the internet (SplitSider, specifically). And some other things that I'm working on.

Until then, here's something I wrote a long time ago for NewsGroper. Recycled, and not really relevant, at all.

 

Seeking: Experienced writer for fun new book project

By Osama Bin Laden*
 

Can you be sassy and ominous at the same time? Can you write in a style that is both educational and enjoyable? Do you ooze talent? If you answered yes to my questions, you may be a perfect candidate to ghostwrite my memoir!

This book will address the struggles I sometimes face as the leader of a global jihad who has been forced to plot the demise of the West while moving from cave to cave. I don’t have a title yet, but I’m thinking something along the lines of “My Struggles.” I may also include some discussion of the atrocities being meted out to the Muslim world in contemporary times by the Western world, or I may keep politics out of it; haven’t decided yet.

My ghostwriter must be a man of Middle Eastern background who possesses ability to write in prose that is lively, fun, and entertaining; think David Sedaris, minus the homosexual, white infidel stuff.

If you are the man for the job, please submit a résumé and a 300 word response to one of the following questions (hint: be creative!):