"Mandy Patinkin: Fact or Fiction" on Funny or Die

1. Mandy Patinkin is the same guy who said, “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Fact. Before Mandy Patinkin became your grumpy Jewish uncle who works at the CIA in Homeland, he was your young, swashbuckling, revenge-obsessed Spaniard uncle in the 1987 classic, The Princess Bride. No one knows what Mandy Patinkin was doing between 1987 and 2012. No one knows and no one must ever know.

Read the rest at Funny or Die.

"20 Questions You Should Never Ask in Class" on CollegeHumor

17. Do you offer extensions for students who know they'll be pretty busy euthanizing dogs this semester?

18. Am I going crazy, or is everyone in this classroom quietly imagining what it would be like to dry hump me on a pile of money right now?"

Read the rest at CollegeHumor.

"28 Easy Ways to Instantly Feel Better About Your Life" on Funny or Die

"12. Find a new way to connect with people that doesn’t involve your uncut umbilical cord and a roll of packaging tape.

13. Narrowly defeat the captain of the ski team in a deadly race down the K-12 mountain and win Beth back."

Read the rest over at Funny or Die.

"Atheist Letters to Santa"

Very excited to have a piece included in this humor zine! If you're in New York, you can pick it for free at a number of places -- everything you need to know is right here: http://atheistletterstosanta.tumblr.com/.

(Please imagine that I remembered to mention this before Christmas. Thank you.)

"Ground Rules for the New Roommate" on CollegeHumor

"If you are reading this, you have most likely also taken note of what appears to be an unnaturally small-bodied, middle-aged man curled in the fetal position at the foot of the bed. No need for alarm—that's me, your roommate!"

"Happiness, Explained" on Bygone Bureau

"Witnessing the birth of our first child; being released from prison right as the bus pulls up; peeing into receptacles filled with cold chocolate milk — we all agree that these are moments of extreme happiness. And yet, we also say that we are happy just because we have our health or because someone left their glasses unattended at their desk and now we have a new pair of glasses."

Useful Tutorial for Anyone Needing a Liquor License

I miss this show.